The Over-Analytical Geeks Guide to Dating

Persistence + Patience = Goal

2011-02-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a supremely awesome, ultra mega long week, and I should actually write something productive or useful, but instead I would rather say that if there's a goal in your mind that you want to accomplish, given enough patience and persistence, you shall conquer it. Or something along those lines.

Jason

Take a Chance!!!

2011-02-08T23:53:00.002-07:00

As I begin this thought; I'm reminded of George Carlin's opinion of "airport security" and a little snarky remark he makes at the end where he says "take a f**king chance". Maybe it's the way he says it, the angst in his voice, the sarcasm and aggression that always inspires me to take a chance and be a bit more daring.
I'm only mentioning George Carlin because I recently listened to his comedy spiel and couldn't stop laughing. Anyhow to bring this to a more direct view I'll say that Valentine's day is around the bend, and while you might be sitting at home planning what you're going to say or do, are you actually going to go through with it? You had better give it a shot, take a chance will yah!!! Sure you might get shot down, and that is totally ok; consider it training ground for the next big adventure. It's like when you're playing God of War 2, and you're in that stupid phoenix chamber part where you have to move the urn through the maze and there's an infinite amount of Harpies, and skeletons harassing your progress while a giant wall of fire comes sweeping down to snuff Kratos out.
Well it takes a few tries to get that part down, and it's probably the most rewarding puzzle aspect of that game when you complete it. Kind of like asking someone out, you might have to do a few trials and fail so that when you do succeed, it's even more rewarding. Well Valentine's day is a great opportunity to give this a shot. Does it have to be a romantic day? Not at all, but it's a dedicated once a year day where the sappiness hits critical mass, and people are a bit more receptive; especially if they are single. I saw a guy in line the other day at Safeway, and he bought a marvelous set of flowers, and when the cashier asked him who they were for, he said that those flowers were really for her, and he paid and walked away. Complete stranger to stranger interaction, and I was pretty damn impressed by how cool this guy played it off. Did they know each other? Hard to say, but I'm sure the flowers made that cashiers day, which was totally awesome.
So taking a chance might just be the remedy you're lacking in your life these days. Too much routine and predictability transforms life into a stagnant ever revolving series of common events. In order to grow you must invoke change and preferably change on many fronts. Asking someone on Valentine's day is way easier to do then on the other 364 days that go on, because it's a blatant opportunity for those who have agendas to shed light upon them. What's the worst that could happen? A "no", that's all. But what if that "no" turns into a "yes"? If that happens, then you are the champ, and I applaud you immensely.
Take Valentine's day out of the equation for a bit, and just plain go for it dude. Take a chance on a gamble that you may, or may not get yourself a date, but over-analyzing your situation will not help you, if you lack the will to go forth.

Jason

The Importance of Friends When Dating

2011-02-05T22:13:00.002-07:00

Friends are great for tons of reasons; when your playing Golden Eye and you need a 4th player, who do you call? When you're building a trebuchet and need some help priming the crank who do you ask first? When you're planning on staying home and starting a wicked game of D & D instead of finding a date; who's by your side? Your friend(s); I can think of tons of reasons they're good to have, and when it comes to dating they're your wingman, your bodyguard, your extra confidence who talks you into stupid ideas, and the person willing to bail you out should you put yourself in an awkward position. They're pretty much an in-disposable item; sort of like the Onyx sword in Baldur's Gate. But what happens when you find out that you're "so called friend", isn't really your friend to the end? I mean who ever saw that one coming? I'll tell you what...there are multiple kinds of friends, and you need to learn to watch out for your situational friends. They can be invaluable in a situation or maybe even a few, but they're not always well suited as the Jack of trades. They might be a rocking Super Smash Bros player, and even know how to make chain mail, but they might be a ticking time bomb should you enlist their help on scoring a date, or even worse; using them on a double date. See some people are quasi chameleons, and they can morph into various persona's to fit the bill of the situation, but they're not suited to all conditions. It should be a priority of yours to make sure that these situational friends can handle the situations you may need them for.

Jason

Want v. Reality

2011-01-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you've got something that you just don't want in all it's entirety, but you're not sure what to do about it. My advice is to truly pursue that which you want, even if it's not necessarily attainable right away.

Authors note* It's freezing in Denver right now, and I'm too cold to really think, but I felt the need to start something that I'll finish a bit later. Stay tuned.

Foods you should have on hand

2011-01-26T13:07:00.003-07:00

Ok so on the off chance that you've scored a date, and things were promising enough to have a repeat what do you do next? Well actually there's a myriad of awesome things you could do, but lets be conventional for a moment, and try something a little romantic. If she's willing enough to allow you to cook her dinner, and maybe even play a round or two of Magic the Gathering; then hell yeah roll with it. But if you're a geek; chances are your diet consists of things that involve bread, mayonnaise, peanut butter, cheese, and mountain dew. Which is cool if you're immune to heart attacks, but not terribly romantic.

But no worries friend(s) we've got you covered with a few things you should stock your fridge, and pantry with just in case she actually comes over. There is no particular order to this, just remember you want to try to have at least some of these delicacies on hand.
1. Almonds- I'm pretty sure this is a girl thing, because guys just don't get as excited about almonds, or almond flavored things the way girls do.
2. Dark Chocolate- It says your more sophisticated than milk chocolate, or white chocolate.
3. Peanut butter- Always a good go-to food, if the fancy schmancy meal you're making goes belly up, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches can be fun, quick, and most people (barring those with peanut allergies) like PB & J's. A good alternative is the "Elvis", which is PB, Honey, and Bananas.
4. Cream Cheese- I've never actually bought cream cheese for myself, but I keep some in the fridge just in case. Other people always find a use for it. I suppose you could mix it with strawberries, and feed it to each other romantically.
5. Herbal Teas- What's not to like, they're not caffeinated, they taste good, and most of them help to put you in a relaxed state. At the very least get a mint tea, and chamomile. Mint can help keep your breath fresh, and relieve upset stomachs, and chamomile, can help things wind down a bit.
6. Fruits- If it's a berry, you might want to get it, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries. If you're willing to spend a little extra, then go for pomegranates; they're just plain cool. Berries can be put in ice cream, or made into smoothies with next to no effort.
7. Fondue- This might be pushing it a bit, but a couple bars of Ghirardelli semi-sweet, melted into a pot can make eating most things pretty awesome. Melt the chocolate slowly, dip bits of fruit in it, and enjoy the savory bliss that comes with fondue and fruit.
8. Cream Soda- Lets trade Mountain Dew for IBC's Cream Soda, this stuff is like magic happiness in a bottle.
9. Ice Cream- Even if it's not your thing, you should always have some on hand. If you walk into the frozen section at the grocery store, and feel uneasy about the billion and a half flavors of stuff they've got on the shelves, then lemme reduce this to the lowest common denominator. Ben & Jerry's, it doesn't really matter what flavor you get, but if need a little help, I've never heard anyone complain about Cherry Garcia.
10. Alcohol- I'm not a fan of drinking, and if you're not 21, then just skip over this part, but I'm told that having a bottle of wine or champagne might just be the icing on the cake. Unless either of you are a sophisticated wine taster (a.k.a. closet alcoholic) go with something white and sweet. Most alcohol is pretty nasty tasting, and yeah you might catch a hint of oak, or fruit or something, but then why not just eat the side of an oak barrel, or a piece of fruit. Nonetheless get a bottle, no hard liquor, or beer.

Did you get all of that? Probably not, but a few items will be a serious upgrade to that pitiful, desolate wasteland you call a pantry/fridge. If you plan on making dinner, lets try and stay away from things with garlic or onions. Even though they do make things taste better, they also tend to make breath stink, and body odor gets pretty gnarly. We should probably not make things that are super duper messy, like barbecue or ribs. There is no clean, romantic, or professional way to eat them. If you're in a pinch for time, go the stir fry route. It's simple, it's easy, it's healthy, and can be made for vegetarians or omnivores alike. Color is always a plus, so be sure to make dinner as exciting as a kindergarten classroom, lots of colors and visual stimuli. I'm not one to care how something looks, but the Food Channel has hammered it into our heads Presentation, Presentation, Presentation!!! So try and make it look pretty, and edible if you can.

All in all these are just a few things, that should get you started. Obviously as things progress and become a bit more sophisticated, so then should you. Anyone who helps you grow, and blossom into a better individual is someone worth keeping around, at least for a little while.

Author's Note* This post should grow over time, and please feel free to submit your own ideas about foods and dates.

Jason

An Army of Support, is Better than an Army of One

2011-01-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

At some point in your geekish life, you've done something above and beyond your anticipated capacity, and I'm betting that you didn't do it alone. I mean it's way bodacious if you can tackle your biggest challenges alone, but in a realistic sense it's far easier and and much more likely of a favorable outcome if you enlist help from others.

What I mean by this is that if you have a goal that you need to or better yet; want to accomplish then if you can have the backing of a group of people behind you, then you have all the support you need to succeed.

Years ago I went on the Velocity Diet (V-Diet) and it's a month of mental anguish and a test of faith in one's self. I mean it's a diet, no biggie there, but it's just a ton of protein shakes, and no solid food, for a month. Which royally sucks. I enlisted the help of my friends, training partners, and even readers of an old website I used to have. I felt the only way I could pull this off, and get to my goal was to have the support and expectations of others riding on it. Made perfect sense at the time, and still holds true to me today. An army of one is romantic and ideal, but an army of many is logistically sound and totally possible. Nonetheless I got to my goal, and the lesson I learned there was that it never hurts to have friends and allies, especially when undertaking an epic endeavor.

So how does this relate to dating? Tons of ways, I mean the sky's the limit with this one. There's incalculable instances in where having an army of supporters behind you would help you accomplish your mission, instead of just you flying solo. Maybe it's the pressure of disappointing others that keeps you from sinking into your own cowardly behavior, or the fact that if you're going to do something stupid and take a fall, you gots friends to help pick you up. In fact there might even be;
FILL IN SITUATION HERE ________________________________________________________

But seriously this is a remarkably simple task to embark on when you think about. So you're going to go on a quest to rescue a damsel in distress (or in this case, just ask her out), and in order to get to her, you have to fight through 3 million dungeons full to the brink with goblins, orcs, ogres, dark elves, and any other spooky scary shit out there. Would you rather do it alone, or with a guild of your most trusted allies? You'll have someone to lean on and give you courage when you're looking a little weak in the knees, or someone to watch your back and fight off a hoard of oncoming enemies while you enter the castle to talk to the lady. Don't you already feel the confidence rising, and the wheels turning? So if you're gonna go forward with this seemingly difficult task, tell your friends about it, tell your family, tell your classmates, chat buddies, hell even your cat. Especially your cat, if your cat disapproves, you're gonna be in trouble.

Jason

If you're not getting any action, then you might as well watch some action

2011-01-24T21:22:00.003-07:00

Movies that is; if you're hitting a dry spell with no dates in sight, then I say it's a safe bet to begin watching action movie marathons STAT (sooner than already there). Reason is simple, watching action movies is cool. Besides if you're kind of a squirley character, you might need a little more testosterone charged stimuli to keep things interesting. Action movies always have great one liners, and nothing makes a lonely day seem bearable like gratuitous violence. I have a fairly extensive video library of killer (no pun intended) action and sci-fi movies and I have to say that, when I'm stuck at home by myself, and not really feeling the urge to go out and meet people, the next best thing that I could possibly do, is flip on some action movies. I'd love to write a lot more about how this relates to geeks and dating, but nothing really comes to mind. You're not always going to be dating, in fact it's likely that most of the time you're not. To help pass the time, action movies, or even better, action video games should distract you enough to make the lonely life a little bit more enthralling.

I want to put a picture in here, to make this post a little less dull, but if you go google images and type in action movies, there's a plethora of exciting, violent, A to C quality flicks there, which can give you the necessary action buzz you're desiring to make up for the fact that you suck at getting a date.

Update* Blade 1 and Blade 2 make for an exciting Monday night. Not the greatest movies, but as far as Marvel movies going, these ones suck the least.

2 B or not 2 B Yourself in Social Situations

2011-01-19T16:44:00.002-07:00

In social situations there may come a time, if there hasn't already been one, where you're going to be nothing more than a bounty hunter amongst storm troopers. I mean your armor is different, your transportation is different, you're probably a bit more terse and laconic, and lets face it, YOU STAND OUT!!! So what do you do exactly? Try to blend it a bit, mug a storm trooper and don their armor and vocoder? I say no! Roll with it, be yourself, yes be your geeky socially awkward self. You might have little in common with the people you're interacting with, but remember we're all from the same planet...mostly.
If you're really concerned about not fitting in, then I recommend playing the silent nod game. Remain in the group, but visualize a shadowy mist all around you. Pay attention to what's being said, don't keep eye contact on one person to long (follow the conversational energy) and move from person to person as the verbal transactions occur. If something comes your way take your time to answer, and remember it's not always what you say but how you say it. Body language can play a key role in conversations so remember to keep yours open.
Another trick I've learned in social situations is just to steer the conversation to something more along the lines of your favor. This takes some planning and a bit of foresight because you don't want to be obvious about taking control. If people notice that you can subtly take control of a conversation to something that you like to talk about without being sensationally weird then you have shown power, and your superiority over the more feebler minded folk.
Lastly if it's a one time deal and you're not likely to ever see this group of people again, then why not practice your social skills and see what works? You have an experimental group of guinea pigs for which to hone your ultra geeky social skills to make you appear to be more normal.

If all else fails, be yourself and talk and do whatever you like. Will you appear strange? Most likely, but that's who you are. No sense in trying to hide things like that; and some people might really like having your company. There comes a time in life when you realize you're probably not going to change a whole lot about yourself to impress or fit in well with others. The best thing you can do is try and be able to fit in when the situation calls for it, and the rest of the time just be a geek. But never ever ever compromise or feel like you have to compromise your morals, ethics, or beliefs to be cool. No matter what happens I know you're still a hip cat in your own regards.

Jason

The Ogre Shed updates

2011-01-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

So Doug and I have planned out, or at least outlined an ultra mega cool idea for the ogre shed. I want to tell you what it is, I most certainly do, but it's just better if we update it soon, maybe this weekend...

Jason

What Kind of Animal are You in the Group?

2011-01-16T18:55:00.004-07:00

So one of the cool things about Americorps is the free training seminars you get to go to in whatever state you're volunteering in. Now free training and education is always cool, but what's even better, is that something like 3/4's of the attendees are ladies. Which is good if you're a single guy, plus most are idealists and want to better the world, not selfishly live out their lives. Which by the way if you're jobless and cool with not making a lot of money, but having exciting new life experiences, then sign up with Americorps, and make something of yourself.
Ok so at one particular training I recall going into a room with roughly the 3/4's ladies to 1/4 dudes ratio and the topic being about personality types in group dynamics. I even took notes on this stuff because I was so fascinated by the fact that someone was able to put in words, what I kinda sorta....not really thought in my head. So first off let me mention that I'm sure there's lots of models like this one, probably using the same theme with different animals, or another theme with some striking semblance, but I'm going to tell you about the one I learned. Initially the leader of this seminar unveiled 4 dry erase boards each with a different animal on it; and then proceeded to read the characteristics and traits of each animal. Afterward we were asked to head over to the board with the animal that most resembled our natural personalities. I can't give every single detail of each one but I got the jist of it fairly well. The first animal was the Monkey, and it represented the creative personality; the one known for coming up with new and exciting ideas. The downside to the monkey was that people with this particular personality need to have explicit boundaries, otherwise they go bonkers.
The next group were the lions; this group was known as the leadership type who takes ideas, and puts them into action. These people are precise and are kind of what I viewed as the "control freaks" who had to have things their way. The third group was known as the owl group, and they were the analytical type who are problem solvers, and can find the flaws in most things and fix them before things get out of hand. If you read this site often and are an over-analytical geek, then I'm guessing that you're most likely an owl. Lastly we have the dog, who's chief focus is on relationship maintaining, or becoming the glue that holds a group together. They concern themselves with having everyone get along, and tend to excel at crisis intervention.
In essence these four animals have a certain order to them that takes advantage of each of their skills and turns an idea into a successful (person, place, or thing). The monkey creates the idea, who then passes it along to the lion; who sets things into motion and builds the idea into a working production. The lion passes off the unfinished project to the owl who then analyzes it looking for ways to patch "the holes" up and get this thing perfected. Lastly the dog maintains the group relationships and helps to mediate and compromise things when possible to ensure that the product is completed and that no one died over dispute.
So in these groups we were instructed to plan out a two day vacation, and we had five minutes to do so. If you haven't already guessed I'm a monkey, but I'm also largely a lion. So I'm either a mion, or a lonkey; but nonetheless I felt that I indentified more with the monkey's in the room then the lions and so off I began planning the vacation. In seconds the monkey's were loudly coming up withe most ridiculously awesome plan for a vacation that this world has ever seen. Including hang gliding into Peru with alpaca's and enough entertainment to last 9 lifetimes. The lions planned to leave at 4 AM catching the red eye flight to some place I didn't care enough to remember, and after a bunch of control this, control that I gathered that they had to have things their way. I forgot where the owls and dogs went, probably wasn't too exciting, but when I was looking at everyone else in the room, I noticed our group was the only one standing and communicating wildly through our gestures and body language. If we hadn't been told to sit down, we would have stayed standing up.

So what does this have to do with dating? Nothing really, but I thought it was a cool model, and I'm sure you could learn a thing or two about how group dynamics work. First off knowing which animal you are, allows you to know which ways work well for interacting with others. If you're like me, and just oozing from the ears with ideas and adventures, then what you need to learn about yourself is that you're going to get shot down often, because others (namely the lions and owls) are often times naysayers and need some convincing to accept your points. If you're a dog, then know that you want to be liked, and probably really do like people and can get your feelings easily hurt. If you're an owl then you might be a bit misunderstood and have weird quarks and such, but no worries, you're an analyzer, you solve problems better than most. If you're a lion you're pretty awesome, and most likely the alpha in your group. My recommendation is to not piss off the monkey, because I'm a monkey. Certain groups tend to get a long better with each other; each animal get's along well within it's own kind, but they can also mix and match. Owls and lions tend to get along well with each other, and monkeys and dogs get along well too.
If nothing else you can bring this up on your date for a conversation starter, and it may help to find out if you're going to get along with this person.

Jason

Geek Revelation #11 Leverage is Everything Part 1

2011-01-14T14:10:00.001-07:00

One of the greatest tool you can ever have that works for nearly all situations in life is leverage. That's it!!! One of the most obvious secrets revealed. If you can learn to apply the right leverage in the right place, at the right time, you can conquer almost any scenario. Think A New Hope; if Luke hadn't switched off the targeting computer, and trusted his instincts within the force, his proton torpedoes would have hit the surface of the trench like that of Gold Leader. Otherwise the Death Star would have blown up Yavin and smote the rebels opposing imperial rule. The trick to applying leverage though is figuring out what the situation really needs in order to turn in your favor. Like in dating, what sort of leverages can you apply on that pivotal first date that can increase your experience level?

To be honest I have no real idea how to give a definitive answer, so I've once again consulted with the Oracle of sales to find the best ways possible to boost those charisma points. So obviously on the first date if you're a geek, then chances are likely, that you've over thought things, and you're probably a timid individual when it comes to social situations outside of your normal online chatting, or Friday night D&D with your friends. This is ok, but that's really all it is...ok. We need you to be better than ok, we need top notch. The goal is to do one of two things effectively, either shift the balance of power so that you're both on equal ground, or to take control of the direction of the date and shift things a bit higher in your favor. Both are acceptable although keep things equal early on, might be an easier trial for you to pass.

So some of the things I was told, might appear to be biased, but that's what us human being are good at doing, biasing non-universal truths. Plus having some tools at your disposal is better than having no tools, or very few tools. I'm told that genuine compliments on specific things can be advantageous, especially if you keep them on reserve and don't overuse them. You definitely want to get them to talk about their most favoritest subject in the whole wide world, which is........ you guessed it.....THEMSELVES. If you learn to hear what they say, and actually listen to it, then you're going to have a wealth of knowledge about them, which will help gauge the direction of things, and whether or not you want to stay or flee.
Short dates can be great for a few reasons;
Numero uno- humans have relatively short attention spans, especially in face to face conversations.
Numero dos- being around that person for a long period of time, on a first date might become strenuous.
Numero tres- if you plan, or hope to go on many dates with this person, then hit and run tactics allow you the opportunity to expose them to various scenarios, and can give you a plethora of information about who that person truly is. They might like video games, but if their extent is NES tetris, then things just might not work out.
If you're trying to get to know someone, ask questions, seems logical, but you have to be tactful on how you approach things. If you're as curious as a cat, then you need to learn how to not appear to be intrusive with your questioning or overbearing, as that can be a complete turnoff early on......especially early on.
Lastly the oracle has declared that interactive dates can be very safe early on, and allow you the opportunity to bridge the gap of physical proximity. If she digs paint balling, then you're in luck, but if she's not a fan of getting shot by sub-sonic plastic capsules filled with water soluble paint, then you're going to have to find common or creative ways to make it happen. Pool halls can be a bit swanky, but playing pool allows you the opportunity to break eye contact, and focus on the game, while "listening to her talk". Don't like pool? Yeah me neither, it's hardly a sport of any real athleticism, but what about air hockey, darts, trivia, or even miniature golf? Definitely not so swanky, and they even give you an opportunity to impress her with your awesome geek knowledge and prowess in seemingly useless sports.

Jason

Are you Approachable???

2011-01-11T12:10:00.003-07:00

Are you approachable like Clark Kent, or are you intimidating like homeboy with the pet owl? Lets think about this for a minute, what are you really? Do people not have any problem coming up and talking with you? Do strangers on the train find it easy to speak with you, and even confide in you? Or do people look at you and scurry away? That's a good question to ask yourself, and I've taken the liberty of asking some of the best and brightest minds in the sales industry to help expand your toolbox of tricks to help you score a date, or at the very least, become approachable.
So what makes someone approachable anyways? After speaking with these expert sales people I've come to find that there are certain things that are probably very obvious and some not so much. I have to admit I'm a beginner on learning how to become approachable. I think my natural countenance is that of a scowl, and so I have to consciously learn to smile and give off the aura of invitation. I should also mention that sales people have an innate ability and knowledge of being able to convince people to buy buy buy!!! I've heard that sales is nothing more than the transfer of energy from one person to another. After working in an office full of sales people, I have come to realize that universal truth as being on par with the gospel.
So here are some of pieces of advice I was given, and that I want to share with you;

1) Initial attitude - being gregarious, smiling, and appearing to be easily engaged. I've also heard that talking with open palms give the appearance of not being guarded.

2) Appearance - this shows a lot about you, whether it is true or not, as much as I hate to accept this, I believe it is true. If you dress like you don't have a self worth, or importance, then others interpret you as such. Most geeks and nerds are a little on the conservative side, and don't have enough pizazz in the garb...... fix that!!!

3) Engagement- give the opportunity to be approachable. Some people give off a negative aura,and others can sense it. Even though they might want to talk to you, if they feel like you don't want to interact with them, then your chance is blown. A lot of geeks tend to be natural introverts, and even though they want to interact with others, they make little attempt to become extroverted (even temporarily. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, expect the same results over and over.

4) Eye contact- You gotta have it!!! Nuff said!!! If you struggle maintaining eye contact with people, then I recommend practicing staring contests with your cat. If you don't have cat, then I pity you, but maybe you have a friend or willing participant that you can practice on.

5) The Chameleon method- this is perhaps my favorite piece of advice courtesy of Codename: Levendi. I'm told that mirroring someone tactfully, can help break the tension quickly, and make someone feel at ease with you. If they communicate a lot with body language, then try doing the same when you're speaking with them. If they talk loudly, guess what? You're talking loudly. If they sit or stand a certain way, you match. It's fun and most people don't catch on right away. Some people might even say that there is something about you that they like and they can't quite put their finger on it. It's seeing themselves in you, that they like, and if we're trying this on girls, what is their favoritest subject in the whole wide world? Themselves!!!

So learn to use these nuggets of sagely wisdom and apply them not just to the realm of dating and relationships, but to all other aspects of life. Think charisma points, even if you're baddest warrior or most seasoned magi, charisma gives you that necessary edge to succeed.

Jason

Geek Revelation # 10 Are you Sure you Want to Be Like That?

2011-01-06T22:32:00.002-07:00

I love geeks, I most certainly do, in fact I love them so much, that I left my most recent chapter of life as a "jock sort of dude" and reverted back to video games, sci-fi, and comics. That's how you know someone's loyal, when they can take some time away from the lifestyle and come back around just as excited. But enough about me, I had a revelation earlier today, and I figured it was best to share it before tomorrow comes, and I can't even remember what I ate for lunch.
But here is the revelation, and it's something I've always known in the back of my mind, but to hear someone else talk about it, prompted me to take action and spread the good word. So I know with video games, and technology comes the whole new generation of "control freaks". There have been psychological studies on gamers, and higher instances of OCD. On an anecdotal level I surmise it's because the concept of controlling a character, leads people to think that they have to control so many aspects of their lives. I always thought certain geeks were a little strange, they had to have things a certain way, or they just couldn't function right.
Well let me lay it on thick, those weird OCD'ish idiosyncrasies you might be carrying, are pretty much the worst baggage you could be carrying. It can be a huge turnoff to people in general, and particularly bad to a potential date.
So here's my advice; take a pen and paper, or create a spreadsheet if you're so inclined to do so, and write down the pro's and con's about yourself. Be honest, be thoughtful, and be realistic. The idea is to see where you need some work. If you have more con's than pro's then you definitely need to take steps to work on those aspects, as you are the only one who has the power to change any facet of your being. If you have more pro's than con's I don't really believe you and you forgot to be honest and realistic about this list. See geeks tend to have certain things right, and for the most part, they're probably some of the most genuine individuals I have ever met. But they are also some of the strangest individuals too, and it's no surprise that they struggle in relationships, or even just trying to get create one. If you notice that you have certain patterns that seem out of the ordinary, and "others" have commented on them, you might dismiss things. But what if this unsolicited advice comes from someone close to you, and is truly from the heart? If some of your more erratic behavior causes you to seem out of place, or stand alone, then just imagine how you might appear in the eyes of the object of your affection.
Furthermore, if some of these behaviors put your mojo out of commission until you can resolve them, you're pretty much screwed. If there was a zombie apocalypse (and for the record it's only a matter of time) and you can't leave your room until all of your files on your hard drive are categorized by name; or you won't eat anything not slathered in mayonaise, then you're pretty much living on borrowed time.
The solution: simple....... pull yourself together, "act normal" if you can, and try to find the reasoning, rationale or emotions behind not so normal behavior. I'm not saying lose your geekiness, that would be Outlandish, but lose the excess baggage that makes you as desirable as a 32 day old rotting yak carcass. Do you remember in Family Matters when Steve Urkel went from well..himself...to Stefan? It's amazing, what a different style of clothes, and a little smoothness can do to one. He went from zero to hero......no wait.... zero to champ. He was like the poster boy to the concept of "appearances can be deceiving." You can be like that too! I believe in you, and if you believe in you, like I believe in you, then you can pretty much date anyone.

So let's sum it up
Geek Revelation # 10: Identify your weird habits + fix those weird habits + be cool - being too cool = Success!!!

Jason

Demon Barbariran's Guide to Impressing a Girl

2011-01-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

I love Matt Inman's sense of humor and overexaggeration, and since he draws better than I do and has cool topics, why not just put a link to his marvelous comic. A Demon Barbarian's Guide to Impressing a Girl

Jason

Top Reasons to Date a Geek From a Girl who Married one

2011-01-05T11:21:00.004-07:00

They rarely care what’s on TV. This allows you to watch terrible reality TV shows. They won’t have any clue because they have their headphones on talking to guild members about what dungeons they are going to do.
This is somewhat synonymous with the first one, but still worth mentioning – they never hog the remote.
They typically encourage the purchase of electronics and gadgets.
You will own every console system ever made –yes, this includes the original Nintendo (and if you’re lucky they will still have Tetris and Super Mario 3).
When talking/texting friends girls never come up. The most risqué topic of conversation is whether they should get the breastplate (gasp) or the helmet with their arena points.
You never have to worry about what they are doing or where they are because you know exactly where they will be and exactly what they will be doing…gaming.

Tonkka's Wife

Geek Revelation #9 The Effecitveness of Mantras

2011-01-04T22:11:00.002-07:00

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" We've all heard either that mantra, or something like it, but I believe that if you haven't ever tried using a mantra, then you should definitely learn to. According to dictionary.com this is what I got for Mantra - any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power. You can take the route of using one word, or many words, but the idea of concentrating on a particular subject and chanting for reminder, does in some way bring things into certain effect. So if you're either someone who's been dating and is closing the deal on a relationship, or someone struggling at the bottom of a barrel just to find a way out and begin dating, lets prepare ourselves using mantras.

One of my own personal favorite mantras to use in most situations involving something of physical prowess is simply "tough cat". Two words, simple to remember and just reminding myself of those words in my head is usually enough to help me through the last rep of a deep squat. By the way my inspiration for those words comes directly from this picture. I used to keep this as the background on my computer so I could be reminded of how tough some animals are. Especially cats. Dogs just aren't tough enough to handle the cactus. Anyhow there are others that I've used in various situations that work for me; "impossible is only a word" "get your sh*t together" and my favorite negative one "quit being a f**king coward!". There!! Those are mine. Not the greatest and not really related to dating, but when I think them or say them I'm reminded of the ability that I can push through almost anything if I truly want to.

Lets apply this to dating. You want to date some person but you're afraid to approach them. That's a fairly common and reasonable fear amongst those searching for relationships. Just because it's common and reasonable does not make it Ok to just sit around and hope something is going to happen. You need to man it up and take a stab in the dark. It might not work the first, second..... twenty second time but if you really want something, don't be discouraged by naysayers and cynics who try and pull you down. You have to be willing to make your own odds, and your own future. So what are some good mantras to say or think about in stressful dating situations, or things to boost your courage before you make your move?

How about telling yourself what you want every single day. It doesn't matter how goofy or even as selfish as it might sound, it's important for you to learn to verbalize your wants. Believe me there are girls out there, even really hot ones, that have an affinity for the geek. It's no big mystery, if you've ever gone to Comic Con, you know what I'm talking about. But they exist everywhere. Women find an intelligent man attractive, that's no big secret; now we need to learn to take advantage of that. Hopefully we'll be able to solve that mystery as this site progresses, but we need to focus right now on how to use mantras to get what we want. If you can't think of one, then memorize this one "I will seek out companionship" and now you totally have to say this everyday. If you really mean it then I want you to say it 9 million times a day. Sound like too much of a challenge? It is and if you can't do that, then what makes you think you have what it takes to get a date? So every day when you wake up "I will seek out companionship", when you're brushing your teeth "hmmm whmll smmmk hmt hmmpanhmmship" ,
when you're playing Call of Duty. In fact if you can chant it, think it, write it, and allow it to shift the paradigms, then you can and will have companionship. It's that simple. No magic bullets, no love potions, no mysterious incantations, just say what you want, and allow it to begin to shift and mold your future. Almost all successful people have a common trait, and that is being able to put their needs and desires into a focused perspective and begin taking steps to accomplish "said" steps. To some this up in an understandable geek revelation formula:

Chanting Mantra + Verbalizing Wants + Courage - Cowardice Rationalization +Shifting Perspective = WIN

Jason

2010-12-30T14:23:00.005-07:00

Quite fitting that my cohort wrote about perception, that is exactly what we deal with on a day to day basis. They can either be advantageous or discouraging. When you are interested in someone else, you perceive them how you want to. Let me explain this a bit. You see someone reading a book that you have a high opinion about. You then feel that you have a desire to strike up a conversation with her about the book. So, you stroll over, intending just to discuss the book, nothing more, nothing less. A quick hello maybe be said, or you might go straight into something about the book. For instance "I see your reading Kierkegaard, what do you think about his philosophy on death?" Here comes the tricky part. You can get a plethora of responses. Ranging from "I love that he views people as having death-denial" to "I do not understand the whole roof tile belief". This other person believes that you have knowledge of the author and is intending to convey the message.
Now lets put this into a dating frame of mind. You approach a person, solely with the intention of going on a date with them. We all consciously try to approach the situation so we are viewed as the best possible person to go out with. We alter our appearance to what we deem acceptable. We speak in a manner that is not overbearing nor trivial. We want to be viewed as a suitor, not a waste of time. We all have an inherent desire to be validated by another person.
I say nonsense to all of that! Go over there and talk to them like you have nothing to lose. What is the worst possible thing that could happen? A simple no? Yes, that is the worst possible thing that might happen. And so what if they say no. But what if they enjoy your company? What if they were thinking about going over to you, but where just to scared. It's about how you perceive yourself. If you think that you are a failure, then that is what you will become. If you think you can be bold, then you will be.

Doug

Perfection and Rejection

2010-12-30T13:12:00.002-07:00

Doesn't this title sound great, it rhymes and everything. So I know that in my heart of hearts that at some point you've had a crush on someone and never had the guts to profess that to them. That's Ok, it's perfectly natural to want to form a relationship with someone, but having some inner voice or conscience began to formulate explanations as to why things wouldn't work out. Whether you're not good enough, for her, or her family is wealthy and you're is not, or she's popular and you're well....a geek. I've heard so many excuses but I rarely ever hear solutions to these problems. Let me pose this question to you. What don't you have to bring to the table that wouldn't be considered desirable to someone else? Intelligence, passion, vast knowledge of all things fantasy and science fiction? I think that's a pretty cool start.

Is it possible that on a sub-conscious level we tend to make up reasons and excuses of "rationalization" to help us cope with our feelings of inadequacy? I believe the best way to determine whether or not you're really interested in having a relationship with someone is to figure out whether or not you actually like them, or merely "the concept" of them. So often we get caught up in trying to find reasons why we're not compatible, when really what we should be doing is finding reasons that we are. Sometimes our perception of a person can be far greater or far worse than who or what they truly are. In your mind you may consider someone to be perfect, or near perfect. Are they really? Absolutely not, but you feel that they are, and so you act on those feelings and begin to build a construct of who you think that person is. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't. What is important to note, is that almost all of us do this, and sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it. Remember the honeymoon phase of dating? Everything is rainbows and butterflies, and after a period of time, the true colors begin to come out. Is it possible that those colors were always showing and we just weren't paying a strong enough attention to them.

Psych 101, 7 years ago at New Mexico State University I recall my professor posing a question to everyone. She said "Does it matter whether or not someone loves you?" most of the class replied or acknowledged yes, and she countered with an emphatic "no". She went on to clarify that actual love isn't terribly important, what is very important is the "perception" of love. She said it doesn't matter how much you love someone or how much they love you, it matters only whether you perceive that.
That took a few years to settle in, but I wholeheartedly agree with that observation. Perception is everything and truth is second best. If you perceive someone to be perfect, then they will in fact be perfect. If you perceive them to be something other than what they are, you're in for a big surprise somewhere down the long winding road.
My advice to you, is truly understand yourself, your intentions, and your aspirations of dating. Do they make sense? Are they attainable by your standards? If you get shot down are you going to quit, or you going to figuratively push the reset button and try again? What solutions will you come up with to further yourself in reaching your goals of relationships?

Jason

Let the Past be the Past

2010-12-29T13:21:00.002-07:00

Hey if you're a geek like me, and aren't a typical Casanova regularly fighting off hoards of beautiful women with a Mithral war-hammer,you might tend to get attached in relationships a bit easier. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but it can often times turn against you. You might become overly focused on a past event(s) while becoming completely oblivious to newer opportunities right in front of you. Don't make the mistakes of those who came before you, and for those who will follow after you, but learn this lesson right now. Let the past be the past, you can't change it, but you can learn from it and move on. Always keep your realm of possibilities and opportunities open, even when you think you have "just cause" to close them. It never hurts to have options.

Jason

Dress to Impress, a geek Experiment part 1

2010-12-27T20:42:00.003-07:00

So an interesting conversation arose today about clothing choices and how they can increasing attractiveness. Here's my thought on it, and I'm hoping I'm not the only freedom fighter out there, who believes that this is shallow. I'm told by three expert ladies who have extensive knowledge about all things, you geeks are probably interested in learning more about; that dressing well does in fact increase your attractiveness. For the record this might be true, and as much as it pains me to accept this morbid detail, I think people do gauge your appearance with a partial bias on the clothing garb you have chosen to don. Even the co-author of this site Doug agrees. I'm all about corduroys and t-shirts, and I find that they're comfortable, versatile, and you never look overdressed. But that's just me, I don't think the clothes make the person at all. Besides ultimately it's what's under the clothes that count. You can hide fat, and being gangly by various articles of clothing for a period of time, but inevitably it will show, and you will be embarrassed. On a quick side note the best cure for this is Olympic Weightlifting.
Now lets start with some stuff we might not want to wear anymore. Lets start with velcro shoes, snow boots, and flip flops with socks. Lets just not wear those anymore, EVER!!! Now I'm partial to t-shirts, especially the cool polyester ones from the 70's but I'm told that those are only cool if they have something meaningful on them, like Star Wars characters, or Stephen Hawkins references. So if those shirts ain't sporting some bitchin geek flair, keep them for pajamas.
This is all I have for now, as the movie I am trying to watch is becoming a major distraction, but nonetheless this will be a multi-part post, complete with before and after photos.

Update* Jonah Hex is not worth your time, I don't care even if you like DC comics, Westerns, or Josh Brolin, I want my time back!!!

Nonetheless as I am pondering thoughts about dress to impress I can't help but notice that the new Nerf blaster I just purchased is making me think of the practicality of certain clothing items. Sometimes it's easier to list the don'ts rather than the do's. Please don't wear ascots, scarves, fanny packs, murses, overly small shirts, and overly large shirts. Ok I'm out of inspiration...stay tuned for more.

Jason

Holiday's are The Perfect Time to Appreciate Stuff

2010-12-25T11:48:00.002-07:00

So it's X-Mas morning and you've undoubtedly opened up at least one gift to get the day rolling, and I'm guessing you might have sifted through the piles looking for that gift that has roughly the same dimensions as a PC or Console game, or even a DVD of the Star Wars X-Mas special. Or you might even be a cooler geek and go for the box that most likely contains an action figure, lightsaber, or even the most coveted of all; the Nerf blaster. Well I'm wishing you the bestest gifts ever, but lets step aside for a moment and analyze this phenomenon of the holidays.
I used to be one of those individuals that loathed the holidays, all this gift giving, food eating, holiday dressing, religious...blah blah blah crap that builds up for two months and is super-condensed into a day. But now as I get older I appreciate not only the facade people put on for this one day out of the year, but the fact that some are most genuinely interested in connecting or reconnecting with their clan and attempting as best they can the enjoyment of one another's company and relationships. As we get older we tend to celebrate the holiday's differently; evolving from the receiver of gifts and the center of some attention, to the provider of gifts and the event planner extraordinaire.
But I'm actually going somewhere with this, so keep reading even if the cute and cuddly party is making you want to hurl. Girls appreciate guys that are family oriented, right down to the most primal of instincts. You see, those that show concern for their family, and go out of their way to ensure it's succession, are more likely to bring those wonderful traits over to a mate, to start their own family, and hopefully re-perpetuate the cycle. This is a good thing, but it does tend to be prioritized differently depending on gender and age. Usually at a younger age people aren't entirely concerned with the thought of building a family, but more along the lines of exploring their options, going out on adventures, and testing the figurative boundary waters. This is the opportune time to start dating, things aren't extremely serious, nothing is set in stone, and at a younger age it's easy to change your mind without involving too many legal ramifications.
Now as you get older chances are that your priorities and that of your peers might be different. Instead of getting the latest patch of Star Craft II you might be more focused on owning a whole house, not just your parents' basement. You might want to start putting money away should we have another economic blunder, or investing your time and energy to helping people better themselves. You see with age and wisdom comes a paradigm shift. Go back ten years and see if you relate with the people ten years younger on the same level that you relate with your peers today.
This nugget of advice should serve you well if you apply it to your current state of being. If you're a younger person who's looking just to hook up, then know that there is a general aged population that shares those same sentiments. That is how you select your target. By being methodical and lining up your goals and desires with those who have mutual aspirations.
But before I go off and some erratic tangent, allow me to refocus this piece. Accept your family, whether you like them or not, learn to be tolerant and appreciative. No matter what age of person you're going for, if they can sense that you have a genuine concern for the well-being of your family irregardless of how functional or dysfunctional they may be, that is just a level up to your charisma points. Remember that in like most games and RPG's charisma points help you barter, change the outcome of discussions and even increase your attractiveness. Isn't that what we're going for?

Jason

Geek revelation #8 Suspense is like the Infinity Gauntlet

2010-12-23T22:41:00.001-07:00

Holy bean burrito!!! Have I got an ace up my sleeve to give to you. If you want to wield power on a date equivalent if not better than Marvel's infinity gauntlet allow me to verse you in the art of suspense. Also known as taking long pauses in conversations, or not giving a response at all. Let me tell you, it's a real killer, if you want to take control on a date, learn to wait at least 6 seconds in between conversational exchanges. Allow me to give you an example.

Her: "So what do you do for a living?"
You: ".....1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6" I am a contract killer.
Her: "Wow! That's amazing, you're joking right?"
You:".....1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6" Absolutely I'm really a professional hobo."
Her:" That's so funny, but seriously what do you do."
Author's note* notice that you are taking control, and forcing her to speak, which if you read Lola Manning's advice on (Interviews with the Experts) you would know that you are giving her an opportunity to talk about herself. She may feel awkward that you aren't responding, but if you can maintain your composure, you will be successful.
You: I am a multimillionaire playboy who spends his time flying to space, and funding small 3rd world coups.

By this point you have added mystery to your demeanor and clearly shifted the balance of power from her to you.
I don't recommend doing this all the time, surely you'll find situations where this tactic can be employed successfully.

So lets recap, you need to be able to hold a comfortable silence, without being uncomfortable. You can be tactful with how you use this technique but I can assure it is very powerful indeed.

Geek Formula: Maintaining strict and mysterious composure + good natured humor - overkill on the suspense / the square root of the number 42.

Jason

Geek Revelation # 7 Learn to Play an Instrument

2010-12-23T12:56:00.005-07:00

Ok so lets think about this for a moment, learn to play an instrument; but why? I'll tell you why! Because the lady folk dig musicians!!! Seriously, every woman has it in her head that there is some attractive musician out there that they would definitely hook up with; even the most unattractive pigheaded ones out there. So while I know that if you read this site, you're probably smarter than the average bear, I want you to also know that learning an instrument isn't a massive undertaking. But before you go out and build your own Ocarina, ask yourself what type of lady are you trying to pick up? Certain instruments correspond to certain types of people. If you're unsure of which one to try, guitar is always a good go-to instrument. The rationale is simple; guitar is easy to learn, difficult to master, and it's easy to have access to one. Most chicks dig the guitarist, anyway. The lead guitarist steals the spotlight every song, and is usually better trained than most other rock band musicians. If you want to attract the hippy chicks then learn percussion. Who doesn't appreciate a good drum beat? Especially if you learn to play the more exotic percussion instruments, such as the djembe. Not to mention you're very sought after when an impromptu jam session happens.

If you're looking for the more educated type, might I recommend either the violin, cello, or piano. Classical stringed instruments are usually conducive to those who have better musical skill, due to their difficult nature, and complex musical arrangements. If you're a sensitive guy who just wants to woo, then give the saxophone the good ole college try.
Think Kenny G. If you like being the absolute center of attention, and you can carry a tune then become a singer; like the coauthor of this site Doug. Now you may ask yourself, is is really worth learning an instrument to score a date? My answer is unequivocally YES!!! Unless you're cool being by yourself, and playing Star Ocean all the time. Plus the benefits of having a musically tuned mind are countless. You begin to see the world differently, plus it's something else to do besides writing code.

To sum it all up; Geek formula: Learn instrument + Join a Band = 78% probability of getting a date.

Jason

Why My Job is More Fun than Yours!!

2010-12-22T10:21:00.001-07:00

THREE WORDS, "ANDREW LOOK OUT!!!"

Author's Note* the after effects of X-Mas party may cause drowsiness at work. The Solution = Nerf Magstrike to the dome.

Jason

Don't Be Afraid to Get Shot Down

2010-12-22T08:10:00.005-07:00

Approaching someone with the intent to ask them for their number can be a very daunting task. If you were to approach this same task with the tenacity that you approach your hobbies, what have you got to lose! We play the same level over and over again just to find all the hidden treasures and easter eggs. Why don't you apply that to your dating! You rarely beat an endgame boss on the first try, you have to develop your tactics and strategy over time.

So you see a lady, either by herself, or out and about with a group of her comrades. Take a look at this objectionably. Does she look entranced by what she is doing? Or does she look so incredibly bored that she is dying for an out? I prefer to speak with the woman that is bored with her friends. I am usually the same way, so we have a starting block on which to discuss. Approach and simply say something to the effect of "So you got dragged out as well?". This can sometimes get a quirky little smile. Then just start asking questions. Find out if she is single or just out with her friends to blow off some steam from the workday. Do not hang around too long, that will make you look desperate. Tell her you are going back to where ever you where (table, toy rack, etc). Say something funny as you leave, with a smile of course! If you did well, she will probably come over and strike up a second conversation. w00t!! Don't stay too long now. Tell her you have to move on and ask if she would like to get together sometime. If she says yes, more power to you. If not, do not fret. You practiced the art of speaking with someone outside your circle of friends. It wasn't the end of the world, and you learned something.

Doug

Geek Revelation # 6 It's Ok to Be You!!!

2010-12-21T22:48:00.002-07:00

As the night draws to an end, and our office party is just getting crazy I find myself at a crux. I don't interact super well in large social situations when there is alcohol involved. I'm one of those successful D.A.R.E. kids who actually followed the program and stayed away from the evils of drugs and alcohol. But not everyone is like me, I'm the minority. I move from group to group interacting sporadically posing for not so candid photos, and just trying to enjoy the event. At one point I go outside where the venue has some outdoor fire places and there's a fellow colleague whom I never really have any interaction with and I decide to sit down and chat. We talk for about 20 minutes or so, and then she pops the questions no straight guy wants to hear. "Are you gay?" For the record, the answer is no. Regardless of my own personal beliefs or that of others is irrelevant right now. But I was curious as to why she would ask that. She retorted by saying that it is, and I quote "unusual" that a guy my age doesn't drink, smoke, party, or socialize at clubs.

What she failed to realize is that a guy my age, has no criminal record, no std's, a national olympic lifting record, creativity, intelligence, a vast knowledge of geek related stuff, and no douche bag fraternity associations. She was so limited in her viewpoint that she assumed, or presumed (that way you avoid the ass, and you and me statement) that I was gay, just because I wasn't the social norm. For you fellow geeks out there, be yourselves (within reason). Don't let anyone make you feel awkward or different because you don't fall into the "social norm".
Geek revelation # 6 is simple. Accept who you are, change what you dislike, and embrace what you do like. The formula for this is a bit more difficult to explain, but I think it goes something like this;
Being yourself + standing up for your own beliefs - feeling awkward = WIN (you will be impressive)!!!

Jason

Geek Revelatoion #5 Ask and Ye Shall Receive

2010-12-21T12:57:00.001-07:00

Ok so being the geek I am, and knowing that the holidays are just around the corner, I run into panic mode. This is that one time of year where people go truly batshit crazy. As much as I love the hysterics I dislike falling into that sort of negativity. So anyhow my company is having a X-mas party tonight, and seeing as I'm new to the area; I sort of put it out there that I didn't have a date. I mean who shows up to those things single?! The smart ones do!!! At least then they have an opportunity to explore. So nonetheless upon my arrival to work today after an amazing tour of a Physical Therapy school I come across this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>

So I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this, I understand the humor in this, and I'm not going to lie, if I was going to shell out a few bucks for a gag gift, this is about what I would go for. Nonetheless I'll come to my geek revelation. In order to get what you want, you have to be a cat. Cat's have 100% complete emotional honesty. They ask for what they want, and they always get it...eventually... If there's a certain someone you'd like to get to know more, or don't know how to approach. Ask around, put the word out there, be persistent and good humored. Something is likely to turn up, even if it is a blow up doll named Belladonna.

Geek formula: Ask for what you want + time & patience = reward (or blow up doll).

Jason

Don't be afaid to step outside your comfort zone!!!

2010-12-18T15:31:00.000-07:00

This one should seem fairly obvious right? I mean you're working towards a goal. Whatever that goal may be, but if you're reading this site then chances are you're overly analytical and you need someone to spell it out for you. Well as much as I would love to give you that magical item that will level up your charisma and bartering skills I can't. But I can give you a few tips and tricks that can help lead you towards the path of dating. I should probably be the first to admit that I don't really ever date. I know this might appear to diminish my credibility, but I can assure you I'm not a blithering idiot. I understand how people work very well, so I want to pass this information on to you, in the hopes that you'll do something with it.
So today I want you to learn to step outside of the comfort zone. If you spend your days indoors on the computer or Xbox, then I suggest you start tapering that down a bit. Maybe you'll go outside and play in the snow; unless you live in Phoenix Arizona, and in that case I wouldn't expect you to know what snow is. Or go to the local coffee shop. What most people find about people they date is that the person they are now with was at some point a part of their routine. Allow me to clarify; if you always go to the gym at a certain hour, or hit up Seattle's Best Starbucks n Doughnuts, then you will find that there are others who share the same idea, and frequent these places simultaneously. This is good, it allows the tension to be broken easier, and allows a sense of commonality. For instance, if you notice that she always drinks a mega venti soy whipped frappa caramel peppermint cappuccino then you can make a subtle comment about it. Nothing terribly stupid but maybe something along the lines of, "So I guess you're immune to diabetes too." This serves multiple purposes first off it's an off color comment that will get her attention. I mean who says something like that? It might even make her laugh, which is a definite bonus. It shows that you're not afraid to talk to her, or make a fool of yourself, and it can give you valuable information about her current health condition. If she says "well actually I do have diabetes, and I just found out my dad is dying" now you have found the hot button. She's telling you in subtle ways that she is lonely and wants comfort. It's your job to step it up and meet that need. Catch my drift? Good!!
Lets find another way to step outside of your comfort zone. If you spend your weekends building chain mail for the next Estrella War, maybe you could do something outlandish and get a mixed group of friends (girls included) and head over to the nearest club and get your dance on. If you suck at dancing, or are just plain afraid of it, what better way to desensitize your fears then by jumping straight in. You might not be that suave or fast on your feet, but believe me not everyone at the club is either. It allows you to seek out the infamous wall flower; that one girl who has been dragged out there by her friends and is too afraid to dance because she's as ungainly and uncoordinated as a dog with 12 legs scrambling across a wooden floor. Hone in and attack, strike up a conversation
You: "Hey wanna dance?"
Her: "I can't dance, or I don't like dancing?"
You: "What a coincidence me neither"

Then proceed to dance awkward to draw attention to yourself. This will undoubtedly keep the assumed focus of attention off of her and onto you. It may ease the tension and help you smooth talk your way into a further encounter. For all you know she plays The Force Unleashed on Sith Master just to warm up for other video games.

You will never know these things if you stick to the same old-same old. Break out of your rut and do something crazy!!! Have an adventure, or at the very least do something you might not normally do.

Jason

Don't get Pwned!!!

2010-12-16T21:57:00.003-07:00

So you're a geek who prefers to spend your time solving complex equations, building trebuchets,writing code, reading Stephen Hawkings, or playing WoW. I'm fine with that, I really am, and as interesting as it might sound, it's probably not going to get you a date with the girl down the street. But here's another tool which will serve you well for the rest of your life. Martial Arts!!! That's right, time to get those knuckles and knees good and bloody!!!
J/K no really, if you're not in martial arts but spend all your time fighting opponents online you're only kidding yourself. I don't care what style you choose, if it's a matter of cost, I'm sure you could sell your WoW character or mow a few lawns a month to cover the charge. But here's what you'll get out of it. Self Confidence... and what geek wouldn't benefit from a little extra confidence? You'll focus on self-discipline, honor, physical conditioning, mental conditioning, overcoming of body fear (that's the term I use when you flinch), learning a few words in a different language, and you'll be able to use it should the bully in class try and take your lunch money again.
The lessons you learn if you truly put your heart and soul in it can help shape your being for the rest of your natural life. You'll begin to feel less intimidated, which is good, because as you're learning to overcome being roundhoused in the face, you're also learning to increase your intestinal fortitude and go talk to her already!!! Think of it as adding dexterity, speed, strength, and combat reflexes, to an already amazing amount of intelligence. You'll be an unstoppable War-Machine if you really want to.
Now if you have options in your area and the first thing that comes to mind is A.K.K.A. or some small studio that has Taekwondo written in red block letters, I would tell you that you're money is figuratively being sacrificed to the Sarlac. But if you do your research, like I know all good geeks do, you'll find a reasonably priced place, with a good reputation, knowledgeable/tough instructors, insurance, and training equipment to work on your skills. Remember chicks dig guys with skills.

Jason

Geek Revelation #4 Posture is Everything!!!

2010-12-15T22:45:00.002-07:00

This means a lot of different things, to a lot of different people, but for arguments sake I'm going to only mean it in two ways. Lets talk about your posture, what does it say about yourself? What does it broadcast to the outside world? If you're a hardcore gamer, or an avid sci-fi reader and not physically active, chances are you have a kyphotic posture.

Characterized by slumped shoulders, rounded spine, and tight hip flexors. For those who might be curious, in my former profession I was a Strength Coach and Personal Trainer, and still get overly talkative when it comes to bio mechanics. When I look at a geek with bad posture, I think too much time in doors, bad bio mechanics, poor mobility, and a serious injury waiting to happen. But other people might notice the lack of confidence! That's right! I said it!! Lack of Confidence!!!

I mean sure you might be top of your game when fighting the Litch King in WoW, but lets be real, that's make believe. You can barely lift an adamantium warhammer, let alone swing it at an oncoming hoard of orcs. You're weak in body and mind. Girls find a lack of confidence most unattractive. Don't believe me? Ask any girl what the five most important qualities in a relationship are, and somewhere in the top three you should hear confidence.
So we need to fix your posture. Ever looked at any comic of Superman? Ever notice how he stands proud and tall with his shoulders blades pulled back and down? He looks like he can get the job done, and regardless of your opinion of Superman, keeping your chest held high and your gaze above shoe-line makes a lasting impression on some people. Couple that with some geek knowledge and you have a mighty combination.

So my revelation in formula is simple;
Bad Posture = Low Percentage of Scoring a Date
Good Posture = Proud, Intelligent, Warrior Willing to Battle for a Date

Jason

2010-12-15T14:14:00.004-07:00

Granted I am not an overly attractive individual. But what I lack in the "looks" department, I make up for by being interesting. Most of my wardrobe has a unique story behind it acquisition. I have many a date just by wearing something that will cause a female to approach me and inquire about the article. It may be a shirt that I bought at the Buffalo Exchange (btw, if you live in Denver, this store is a MUST), that has a emblem. It may look fairly out of place amongst the crowd that i am placed in. You may make a snide comment to one of your cohorts and I (9 times out of 10) say something that will make you rethink your position.
My lesson for today can be broken down to be interesting. Do not be afraid to embrace being a geek. Wear that Apple shirt with pride. Flaunt that homemade duct tape belt. Just don't wear something that make you blend it, it is boring to women. They want excitement, at least in the beginning. We don't fit into the box that society has placed us in. We belong in each of our own individual parts of this world. We are different. Enjoy and have fun with those differences!!

Doug

Because every Geek should know about Doom 2

2010-12-14T12:29:00.002-07:00

Matthew Inman creator of Mingle 2, the Oatmeal and probably a bunch of other sites that I don't know about created this short little comic, and I find it extremely clever. Who would of thought comparing a relationship to Doom 2's Nightmare mode. Absolutely brilliant!! So check it out. "How dating my ex was like playing Doom II on Nightmare Mode" Embrace your inner Geek and play a congratulatory nostalgic round of Doom 95 Ultra Violence or higher without using the id cheat codes. But if memory serves me correctly they are
iddqd, idkfa, idfa, (idbehold) s, a, i, v, l, idspispopd, or doom 2 idclip. Oh yeah and work on scoring a date!!!

Jason

Geek Revelation #3 Yoga & Salsa

2010-12-13T11:55:00.003-07:00

For all of you geeks out there who are desperately trying to meet a girl but have found that the internet, and comic book shops just aren't cutting it, I have a solution for you!!! This is a two step process although it doesn't really matter which step you choose first. But for arguments sake I'll choose for you.

Numbero Uno, YOGA class. Did you catch that? Start doing yoga! I mean like today, tonight, or tomorrow morning at 5 am, whatever you choose to do, start hitting up the yoga classes. As a former yoga teacher I can say that the ratio of girls to guys is like 9 to 1. Now that can vary greatly depending on what studio you go to, or what time you go. Early afternoon classes almost always have more girls than guys. All you have to do is show up with your mat, and find the spot closest to the instructor. This will accomplish two things, first it will put the pressure on to perform well because the teacher is right in front of you, and second your butt is facing the rest of the class. If you have no butt, or too much butt there's motivation to fix that and start exercising. Not to mention apart from the instructor you are the next center of attention.

Numero Dos, Salsa dancing. Enough said on this one. Ok well maybe I can divulge a bit. Last night I found out that Salsa dancing is about as close as you're going to get with a girl without going home with her. Seriously! I was shocked at the amount of beautiful single (well I'm presuming they're single) women out there who can dance. I for one will admit first hand that dancing is not my strong point, Judo is. Interestingly enough judo and most ballroom style dances have similar beginning positions. While her mind is thinking step step, twist, spin, back bend, look sexy; my stupid mind is saying, de ashi harai, ippon seo nage, O-goshi. Every spin is a failed joint lock in my brain. So it's hard to have fun when you're consciously telling yourself, do not injure your partner. So while I do suck at Salsa dancing, I've decided I am going to start secretly (or not so secretly) practicing the moves I learned so that I can be the object of much affection. Yeah right! But at least it helps build up some confidence. I also want to mention that admitting that you're not the best dancer, but still trying to dance, and laughing will score you brownie points.

So lets wrap this up, Geek Revelation #3 = Yoga+ Salsa Dancing = WIN!!!

Jason

The Purpose Of My Dating

2010-12-11T16:32:00.001-07:00

There was an article a while back saying that dating a geek was the new thing to do. I do not know if that is accurate. In my mind, it has been the ONLY thing to do. It gives another person a sense of adventure. They never are really sure on what I am going to say. Is it going to be about how Han shot first? Or is is going to be the level that i just dinged. Maybe it will be about a pug that was running RFC for the millionth time, to help out a lowbie. The lady will then 9 times out of 10, ask "what they hell are you talking about?" This in turn gives me an opportunity to explain my previous statement. It serves a dual purpose (like dual-spec). It gives me a chance to emotionally talk about my true interest outside of "reality" and it lets go of my nervousness in explaining what my obsessions entail. Then this always seems to be said, "You will never get me to watch Star Wars!" But then how am I going to explain how the rebel alliance was truly at fault and that the Grand Moff really should have moved on to Alderan? How are they going to know that Zuckuss and 4-LOM are really the best bounty hunters; that Boba Fett is really just a pussy that gets eaten by the sarlac?

Doug

p.s. I shall finish this train of thought a later time, due to being all tense about the statements I just made.

Geek Revelation #2 A new dating plan

2010-12-10T23:24:00.002-07:00

I've realized that after playing for so many of my adult years I can't possibly imagine what life would be like doing the same old boring crappy romantic routine. The thought of Date Night makes my stomach churn, and figuratively sends me running for the hills as if a giant Rancor was chasing me. I know some people actually like to go on dates, or at least they're really amazing at pretending to but I just can't seem to find much enjoyment in that. It's always some sort of interview, "What do you do for work? What did you study in school? What's your view of the current presidency? Do you believe in god? How many pets do you have? What are your hobbies? blah blah jibbity jar jar har har..." All this gives me is a snapshot of this person at this particular moment in time. It doesn't tell me everything I need to know about, or anything I really care that much about. It doesn't tell me if they're an insanely intelligent, ultra charismatic, or if they have any real superpowers. Besides on a first date what I'm really trying to accomplish here? Is it to go out, learn something new about a person? Is it to pass time between HvZ games?

Is it because I'm following my primal urges to find a mate, and well....mate? Is it because I'm not getting any younger and most of my friends are already married with a kiddo or two coming along the way? Or is it because society deems it so. I'd like to say it's either a mix of those explanations or none of those reasons. I tend to teeter a bit on this subject. Nonetheless I've decided that I'm just going to be straight to business with the world of romantic relationships. If I always think of myself as unworthy, or lucky to have anyone at all, I've essentially doomed myself from the get go. I'll always settle for what someone else wants, and not what I really really want. So I'm going to set my standards, and stick to them, if they don't meet these qualities, and I don't meet their mutually, then "Forget about it..." I mean why invest any time, money, energy, or emotions into something I don't really want? It's an excellent question for me to ponder since that seems to be my motif as of late. Just settling on what's there instead sticking to my own standards, and being as honorable of an individual as I can stomach.

So essentially I'm going to bypass the whole dating route, and just get to know someone as an acquaintance, turned friend, turned girlfriend. It's a logical step pattern, and if things get too complicated, then I just know it'll fail. If I mention video games and all she can think of is Tetris, or Super Mario Brothers, then I know things won't work out. Be proactive, preemptive, and procedural with this new found method, and success will surely be around some bend.

Jason

The Adding of Ice to Tea

2010-12-10T15:31:00.002-07:00

When beginning the adventure that is a new relationship, I always encounter the dilemma of when to divulge my true level of geekdom. I think it is a needed topic to be brought up. But it must be done in a manner that doesn’t scare away a potential love interest. I shall share you my experience a few nights ago as an example. Jane (as she will be called) and I went to a gathering of semi-like minded people. A topic of discussion was brought up regarding the proper number of ice cubes needed to make a glass of iced tea. Some said 12 is the min/max. Other emphasized the importance of using the bare minimum, letting the tea be chilled prior, thus negating the impact of further water being added to the concoction. Well, my first instinct was to inquire what type of tea was being brewed. That would dictate (at least to me) if any further water from the dissolving of the ice would impact the flavour. Knowing that my counterparts attending would most likely prefer a form of Oolong tea to be iced (I don’t know why), I knew the tea would want to be strong and aromatic.

But the thought occurred that maybe, just maybe, they would be using a tea specially made for being iced. This threw my brain into over drive! The notion that a company would make a specially formulated tea just so that it could be placed into a container with sugar already added, then topped off with iced was ludicrous.

This is when I realized that I was actually on a date. My focus had deviated from my original intention, wooing this young lady into my intentions of a further encounter. But it was too late. I had already spoken on the whole subject of the adding of ice to tea. Lo and behold, it made her laugh. A true heartfelt laugh. It made my insides tingle with joy.

But I am not ready to tell this extremely attractive woman what I do in April of every year. Devote my weekend to Sci-Fi conventions. I'll save that for another night.

Doug

Geek Revelation #1 Antenna receiving bad reception

2010-12-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

So I'm an immature kind of guy who finds the greatest value of anything based upon the amount of fun it can generate. For instance as I was driving to work today I heard a lengthy commercial about the latest Rolex watch that is supposed to be the next greatest precision time piece. While a Rolex might be a neat thing to have, lets face it, where's the fun in this? Now a 20 dollar Nerf blaster is inexpensive and supremely fun to play with. To put this into a geekish formula Rolex = Rich and boring, while Nerf = Fun and ingenious. Which would you prefer to have? Well if you're a geek then you better put your money on the latter equation.

Ok so I was going somewhere with this and it's my first geek revelation so I'll make it to the point. One of the gentlemen I work with at my newest job took me outside for a half hour to basically tell me I need a little work. Let's face it, I know I do. So he tells me that the reason my relationship in the past are strikingly similar personality types is simply because the antenna I put up is receptive to only those types. Allow me to clarify, many people I have a relationship with at some point, are not the kind you might want to settle down with. They're usually needy, artistic, older, and have somewhat of a lack of confidence. So this brilliant co-worker Codename: Levendi has told me that in order for me to try something new, I need to rebuild my antenna or at the very least change my receiving frequency.

Starting today, or maybe in the next few days I am going to begin reconstructing my antenna, stay tuned for pics.

Jason

A new day dawns

2010-12-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

The notion that woman are the more emotional of the sexes is a fallacy. Males will sit around with other males pondering the idea of what would make the best potential mate. They look for assets such as physical attractiveness, intelligence, religious preference, etc. Women, on the other hand, simply seem to desire an individual that will honor and respect them. They really do not highly value the notions of sex appeal, nor the position in society that the male has attained. We want a woman we can brag about. We want this because we want to be the envy of our counterparts. We want them to look at us with awe and an air of desire. We hope that they pity themselves for not having what we are in "possession" of at that very moment. We are insecure in every way.

Doug